


Worth Dying For

by Punkrocker



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Legends: Knights of the Old Republic, Star Wars Legends: The Old Republic
Genre: Dromund Kaas, Fluff and Angst, Guilt, Hurt/Comfort, Imperial politics, M/M, Makeb, Sith Pureblood, Zabrak
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-01
Updated: 2016-04-01
Packaged: 2018-05-30 13:58:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,830
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6426595
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Punkrocker/pseuds/Punkrocker
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Evadne (Darth Nox) leaves in the middle of a mission on Makeb, partly because he loathes being ordered around, and partly because he wishes to see one of the few people that he cares about.<br/>Cytharat has only just started recovering from his injuries. However, being conscious but bedridden means he has time to think about his current situation, which is not looking good. The Empire that he strives to serve sees him as a loose end, and he has to rely on an erratic Dark Lord - whom he also has feelings for. But Lord Cytharat will stay loyal, regardless the price.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Worth Dying For

**Author's Note:**

> I've only just barely described the mission on Makeb, there are also some mentions of things from the Inquisitor storyline. I hope this will not be too confusing and for those who haven't completed either storylines - there may be spoilers.

Cytharat drifted in and out of consciousness. Sometimes days passed, sometimes only moments. Most of the time that he was awake there would be someone there; a droid changing his bandages or a doctor who would ask him how he felt while taking notes. In a way it was a good thing, it distracted him from his own thoughts.

On the other hand it was annoying – they kept telling him he would survive and that he didn’t have to worry about it, now that he was awake the risk was lesser and… _That_ was not what he was worried about, he thought as the doctor kept going on about how much his values had improved and that he needn’t _worry about it._ He didn’t. Dying wasn’t what he feared, it was this uselessness.

Not only had he been pulled away from his current mission at its most critical point; the planet about to collapse and the Empire’s best weapon along with it - he had failed a second time and he wasn’t sure that he would get another chance to redeem himself this time. It all the depended on this mission’s success. Which meant it was once again up to Evadne to solve the problem.

It wasn’t that he didn’t trust Evadne. He did. There were, in fact, few people he thought were more capable. But he needed to prove that he, too, were capable and deserved to be called Sith. Evadne had saved him so many times already, not always with that intention, true, but it still counted. Especially since he know knew how reluctant the other Sith had been to undertake these missions. Not out of cowardice, he couldn’t imagine that after working with him in person, but Evadne did dislike politics and most of all hated to be manipulated and ordered around. Cytharat could understand this, his own master had been a master at manipulation – making everyone believe he worked to help the Empire, when he in reality was planning to usurp the Emperor. Even if Cytharat had openly opposed this, his connection to Darth Malgus had been enough to ruin his reputation. Just as Evadne had been targeted by Darth Thanaton for being Zash’s former apprentice.

There was another thing that caused him more worry than his damaged reputation and bruised pride. It was something that he did not even want to think about - for the fear that it would become reality.

Over the short time they had worked together, most of which they had been apart, Cytharat had begun to realise that he cared for Evadne. Even before they had met in person, Cytharat had learned of the Sith who had disposed of his traitorous master - and had felt a deep respect for him. While it was obvious Evadne had little love for the Empire or its politics, when given a task he would do his best to accomplish it. For this, he had an outstanding reputation. His intelligence and bravery more than compensated his lack of political skills – after all he had single-handedly overcome all the trouble that had arisen when he’d killed his own master.

Yet, for all that he knew of Evadne’s skills, he was worried. They had been few to start with and now Cytharat, too, was incapable of providing aid. The mission that had been difficult at first was turning extremely dangerous as they realised they might not only lose the isotope-5 the Empire so badly needed - the whole planet was on the verge of destruction and the others would remain as long as they possibly could. _And he had made Evadne go back._ No, he shouldn’t blame himself, it had been Evadne’s decision. _But he might die._ Cytharat shuddered, clenching his fists at his sides. He would not think about that. Even if the mission was a failure he had to believe Evadne would escape from the planet. erratic

_Please come back, I couldn’t live with myself if you died._

*    *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *

 

Evadne sat tensely in the waiting-hall; a large, sparsely decorated room with no windows, cold metal walls and only hard benches to sit on. Presumably the sterile environment was required for the patients’ sakes, but Evadne thought it might also be because the Empire did not encourage showing sympathy to other people by visiting them at the hospital.

Another small rebellion, he thought, but felt no satisfaction. At first he had felt quite smug, leaving Makeb and abandoning that cursed mission, but as he arrived to Dromund Kaas he had learned that Cytharat’s condition had been so grave he had been confined to a kolto tank since his arrival. It wasn’t certain he would leave it alive.

His fists clenched as he stared blindly straight ahead, not noticing the last of the other people in the waiting-hall were hastily getting up and leaving. All the others had left already, not wanting to stay in the same room as the no-doubt unpredictable Sith.

Part of him wished Darth Marr would contact him, even if only to reprimand him. Then he would at least have accomplished something with this endeavour. He knew it was petty, but to him every time he could show those above him that he could choose to ignore their orders was a victory. Of course, Marr was not - technically - above him. But he was the senior and Evadne had barely been accepted into the council as it was. So in some ways he had to obey Marr. Not that he was ever directly ordered to do anything, but no matter the phrasing Evadne knew he had been ordered to complete this mission.

He sighed. All of that still did not matter, because it was for Cytharat he had come here and no other reason really. Not that he would have been impressed by this, Evadne thought wryly, he was far too dedicated to serving the Empire. It was one of his few faults and he would probably have been spared a lot of trouble if he had lacked some of that loyalty. On the other hand it was probably that loyalty that made up his other qualities. The courage, honesty and cunning that made him so effective. He was also ambitious on a level where he did not put himself above all - this made him someone Evadne could not help but admire, even if he himself was almost the opposite.

Abruptly, his thoughts were interrupted by a door opening and he looked up to see one of the medics approaching him hesitantly. Evadne rose from his seat.

“Well?” He demanded, before the man even arrived in front of him.

The medic fidgeted, looking nervous and Evadne suspected he would be told something he didn’t want to hear, his fingers twitched. Just as he was getting impatient enough to exercise some more unorthodox questioning-techniques, the medic finally stuttered, “He.. He’ll live, my Lord.”

Evadne was so relieved he almost sat down again, but then the medic continued.

“But he’s sleeping now and shouldn’t be disturbed – so if you could just wait here and we’ll inform-”

“I will see him now.” Evadne interrupted, his eyes meeting the medic’s. The other man swallowed and then looked away. He faltered, obviously trying to come up with a way to refuse without offending the impatient Sith standing far too close for comfort. Of course, standing across the room would still have been close enough to get him killed.

“I’ll take you to him immediately then, my Lord.” He replied finally, visibly sagging as Evadne’s gaze left him and he proceeded out of the room, not waiting for the medic to take the lead. The medic was forced to run to get ahead of the Sith, then continued at a quick pace through the harshly-lit corridors.

They entered a small room, containing little besides some medical equipment and the bed upon which Cytharat lay. Evadne stopped a few feet away from the bed, looking down at the prone form, as if afraid he’d disappear if he got too close.

The medic was standing just outside the doorway. Not looking back, Evadne force-pushed the door closed in his face without a word. He then approached the bed, sinking down on his knees to put his face on the same level as Cytharat’s.

The other sith was pale, though it would be hard to tell with his red skin if you hadn’t seen him before. He also had dark circles under his eyes and his hair was wet – he must have been submerged in a kolto tank until quite recently - Evadne reached up to push a few stray strands from his face. Cytharat sighed softly, but didn’t wake up.

Evadne continued to watch him for a while, then rose and walked over to the only chair in the room, pulling it over to the bed and settling down to wait.

 

*    *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *

 

“ _What is it?_ ” Evadne snarled as he answered the holo-call. Someone had been calling incessantly for the past hour, but he hadn’t felt like answering. Apparently they wouldn’t be dissuaded so easily, so he was forced to answer to make sure they stopped.

“Oh! My Lord…” Niall said, her expression a mixture of fear and relief. “Are you alrig-”

Evadne interrupted her, saying curtly, “Yes. Just tell me what you want. Now.”

“My Lord. I heard you were on Dromund Kaas, but surely that can’t be true- I mean, you couldn’t just have left with the situation like this…” She trailed off awkwardly. “Anyway, maybe you could come by the base so we can discuss the next course of action. If you could spare the time, we’d be most grateful!”

“I am busy. Make yourself useful and solve this on your own, for once.”

“But my lord! We don’t have enough manpower to-”

“Then perhaps you should go yourself.” He then ended the holocall, before she could reply.

 

As Cytharat slowly regained consciousness he opened his eyes – first just a fraction, because the harsh light in the room made his eyes water. He was lying on his back, staring up at an unfamiliar ceiling. There was someone in the room with him, he had recognized the voice but hadn’t been able to place it.

Turning his head to the side, his heart made a leap as he saw who it was.

Evadne was standing a few feet from his bed, apparently talking to someone on holo. Or yelling at someone, his face was twisted into a snarl and he was pointing a finger at the person as if he were going to stab them with it. Cytharat smiled faintly. Evadne always seemed to be perpetually brooding, except when his temper finally gave out and he flew into a rage. It was beautiful, in a way. Like the lightning-storms he would conjure up.

Evadne abruptly ended the holocall. Though Cytharat hadn’t been able to hear much of the conversation, he guessed it had been Niall who had called. It seemed the situation on Makeb was dire – was that why Evadne had left? Because it was a lost case?

Suddenly Evadne was kneeling down beside his bed. His face now looked a bit more serene, but his brow was still creased with worry. Cytharat smiled weakly at him, selfishly glad he was there.

 

“You… came for me. Again…” His voice was hoarse and he could barely get out more than a whisper. Evadne leaned closer, so Cytharat wouldn’t have to strain himself. “You should have stayed.”

Evadne looked away, “I know the mission was important to you. But to me the only important thing was here and I had to make sure you were safe.” He looked up again. “I am selfish, I know. But I will return, if that is what you want.”

Cytharat laughed softly, reaching out, touching Evadne’s face. “I don’t want you to leave… I can barely believe… you are here now…” Evadne had taken Cytharat’s hand. He squeezed it, then placed a light kiss on his fingers. Cytharat closed his eyes. “I can’t ask anything of you, I already owe you too much… But I’m afraid that if you stay now… It could be disastrous, both for the Empire and for me, if this mission were to fail.”

Evadne sighed. He had expected to hear this even as he was leaving Makeb - and knew Cytharat was right. But to him there had been no choice – he had wanted to go, so he left. That was all. But he would have to go back, for Cytharat’s sake if nothing else.

Cytharat was regarding him, looking tentative. Evadne then leaned forward, placing his face inches from Cytharat’s. “I will go back, but not now.” He whispered, then kissed him.

It was a light kiss, their lips barely brushing, until Cytharat leaned forward, deepening the kiss.

 

Then one of the monitors next to Cytharat’s bed started beeping. Evadne was standing upright in a heartbeat, hands sparkling with lightning. The machine soon stopped beeping, on account of it not functioning any more. It was also smoking slightly.

Cytharat glanced at Evadne, who looked back, then lowered his hands self-consciously. A doctor suddenly rushed into the room, but stopped at the door, surveying the scene. Evadne was still standing conspicuously over the broken machine, while Cytharat made a quite good impression of innocence, except for the slight flush he bore.

The doctor carefully stepped forward, keeping a wary eye on Evadne the whole time.

“My lord, are you alright? What happened?” She demanded of Cytharat.

He hurriedly explained, “Ah, yes I am fine – it was just something lord Nox was telling me, I got a bit excited and then the machine started beeping and he… ehm, well, was a bit startled I imagine.”

The doctor frowned suspiciously, then said, “Very well. Even so, I had best check on you myself before we can get that machine replaced.”

Despite his efforts to dissuade her, she gave him a thorough examination – apparently the short time the EKG had been inoperative might have been enough for him to have obtained some life-threatening symptom.

When she was finally done, she addressed Cytharat, “That machine needs replacing, but I shouldn’t leave you alone like this… Perhaps if Lord Nox could go call for someone?” She added carefully.

“Perhaps you should do your own job.” Evadne replied scornfully.

“I’d like him to stay, I’m sure he can look after me until you return.” Cytharat interjected hurriedly.

The doctor paused, looking doubtfully at Evadne, then conceded. “As you wish my Lord, I will be but a moment.” Then she left, looking back at them once before stepping out of the room.

The two sith sighed, then glanced at each other. Then they burst out laughing.

After a while Cytharat said, “You know, you’re not great with people.”

Evadne frowned, “What do you mean? I couldn’t let her boss me around.”

“That’s not what I meant. She probably thought you had attacked me and it didn’t help you looked like you were going to murder her.”

“I did _not_ look like that! As I recall, I might have frowned slightly, but I know it was not my “I’m going to murder you”-expression.”

“I’m not sure I ever want to see that expression then, slight frowning on your part is scary enough.”

Evadne, about to protest, suddenly hesitated and narrowed his eyes. “You’re teasing me.”

Cytharat tried, and failed, to conceal a grin. “Yes, well, I might not be intimidated by your frowning but I really think the good doctor was.”

Evadne snorted. “That’s because she is weak.”

Looking thoughtful, Cytharat shrugged slightly. “I suppose. Still, she might call the guards on you.”

“I can handle a few guards.” Evadne replied flatly.

“Of course you can, and while it might be entertaining to watch you fight them, I think it might be more trouble than it is worth.”

Evadne sighed in mock-regret. “I suppose I have to make a daring escape through the window before they come then.”

Cytharat laughed softly, but his eyes were solemn. “You are going back then?”

Evadne didn’t answer. There was nothing he could say that would make this any easier, and he didn’t want to make any promises that he wasn’t sure he could keep. Instead he sat down on Cytharat’s bed and took his hand.

Then they were silent, each in his own thoughts, but still aware of the other.

Eventually Evadne squeezed Cytharat’s hand and made to stand up. Cytharat, however, didn’t let go of his hand, instead he pulled Evadne closer and embraced him lightly.

“What is it?” Evadne said in surprise, but returned the embrace, taking care not to brush against Cytharat’s injuries.

His voice slightly muffled against Evadne’s shoulder, Cytharat replied, “I do not know when we’ll have the chance to meet again, so I wish to be close to you while you're still here.”

They stayed in each other's arms for a time, then Evadne left and they were both more alone than ever.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Please comment if you liked it/saw something wrong etc. I may or may not write more about these two, but it is likely they will have separate stories then...


End file.
